Are You Stuck in an All or Nothing Mentality?
- amberlynwellbeing
- Nov 28, 2022
- 2 min read
Have you ever been super motivated and decide to jump into something new? Maybe it’s a crazy new diet, maybe you decide to quit sugar all together. Maybe you decide that you're going to start working out everyday. Then, that inevitable day comes where you miss a day, you mess you up; you feel like a complete failure. Why did you even try to do that?? Its a common phenomenon. If you can't do something completely right or the way you want to do them, then what's the point? We refer to this as the all or nothing mentality.
This mentality has us thinking in extremes, not allowing for any gray area. It can keep us from being able to see any alternatives in a situation. It keeps us from seeing possible solutions to a problem. It can bring some comfort in that it can bring simplicity and neatness to your life, but ultimately it is extremely limiting.
A fairly sure way to know if you are getting caught up in all or nothing, is if you're having extreme negative thoughts and evaluations of yourself. Our brain cannot move past a negative thing that is happening. We end up being incredibly harsh with ourselves for not meeting perfection. And let’s be real, perfection is unrealistic. The negative comments we make to ourselves have us believe that our abilities and circumstances are fixed.
The all or nothing mentality is linked to a fixed mindset. Good news though! An all or nothing mindset can change.
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Be specific about your goals - it gives you a realistic time frame and expectations
Remember setbacks are chances to learn and in turn improve
Don't lean into the extremes in diets and fitness regimes like never, always or nothing
Find your middle ground
Remember your morality doesn't come from the food you eat
The process is often times more important than the goal or end
Remember there is no perfect way when it comes to YOUR health and fitness.
Ultimately it comes down to giving yourself a break, cutting yourself a little slack. When those self deprecating thoughts come up, think if you would say those things to someone you love or what I have found helpful, would you say these things to a younger you?
By creating a kind and less punishing relationship with yourself you in turn become more mentally resilient because you will continue to do things even when you hit setbacks.
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